Dealing with Rejection in Children’s Publishing

After a long hiatus from kidlit, I skipped back over with bluebirds on my shoulders to write for children again. But soon I remembered what I didn’t miss: dealing with rejection!

Since I’d been published multiply in the 2000s, I thought I could woo a new editor. So I researched names to query then waited for my welcome. When the kidlit rejections rolled in, it didn’t go well. Imagine writer roadkill.

Why was my writing rejected?

Lots of reasons: tastes had changed, picture books were abundant, and submitting via agent had become the norm. This expression was truer than ever: Children’s book publishing is a bunny eat bunny world.

If I was going to survive in kidlit, I’d have to bone up and get tough. So I studied the competition, got active in critique groups, and read some old rejections to thicken my skin:

“I wanted to love it more.”

“Fun but not for us!”

“Too similar to a title on our list.”

“Sorry, not enough of us laughed.”

Notice a trend? Kidlit rejections are lovely. It’s like getting your butt kicked very politely. At least when a letter is mean, I can feel mean back. But what could I do with replies like that? I simply felt inferior.

Does dealing with rejection crush everyone?

To broaden my perception, I reached out to members of a few Facebook groups, a mix of aspiring and published writers, and this is the post I wrote:

Submitting isn’t for sissies! It takes courage to hit send and cope with rejection. Does anyone have a creative way to deal with the sting of a “No” or a no reply?

Frankly, I was surprised by the feedback. Where was the heartbreak and trampled self-esteem? One writer reported that she slept off her sadness to revitalize. (I feel you, Anne Murdoch!) But the rest of the 50+ responders left neutral or positive remarks. Many were down right chipper!  

Consider these strategies for dealing with rejection organized by style:

The Rejection Rewarder:

• Marcie Coleen: “I kept a big jar of Cadbury Mini Eggs on my desk…only when I got a rejection was I allowed a piece or two. It made rejections that much sweeter!”
• Vasilia Graboski: “I read that someone puts a bead in a jar whenever they get a rejection and makes a necklace when the story sells. It makes for meaningful jewelry!”
• Kiley Orchard: “Our local SCBWI chapter held a rejection raffle. You sent in each rejection you received, and each was a ticket for a raffle prize at the end of the year.”

The Kind Reminder:

• Kate Manning: “I keep a file of nice things people have said about my writing to pull out when I need it.”
• Suzanne Cordatos: “I created a binder to keep track of rejection letters and labeled it ‘The Someday So Sorry Club.'”
• Missie La Abeja: “I screenshot the tweets about rejections, crop them, and print them for a bulletin board. Most have tips or word of encouragement.”
• Selene Castrovilla: “I read stories of rejection which eventually made it big, like Dr. Seuss and Stephen King…I tell myself, you’re in good company, my dear!”

The Number Cruncher:

• Kari Graydon: “My husband sent me an article of a writer who aimed for 100 rejections a year because that meant she was really working for it.”
• Gaia Cornwall: “I made it a goal to get to 100. Every rejection felt like an accomplishment.”
• Stella Stauffer: “Kathryn Stockett: The Help, 60 rejections. Chicken Soup for the Soul: 144 rejections. And Alex Haley may have gotten hundreds before publishing Roots.”

The Flip Sider:

• Jill Murray: “It’s like the movie Groundhog Day. You wake up, try something to achieve your objective, get slapped in the face, and wake up the next day and do it all over again. Except you learn from the slap.”
• Lieve De Lint: “I expect rejection. I don’t feel a pinch….As long as I can write the best manuscript and query letter for me, that is my focus and what I can control.”
• Sharie Walter: “I am a realist. Considering the competitive market of children’s books and the difficulty of breaking down the publishing door, I EXPECT rejections…Just submit away then start afresh on the next project. You’ve got to eat a ton of Willy Wonka Chocolate Bars to find the golden ticket!”
• Catherine Brewer: “I literally look at the word “No” and spell it backwards, then I literally move “on” to my next submission.”

The Paper Slayer:

• Sally Wilkins: “I have a friend who papered her bathroom with her rejection letters!”
• Roseanne Frank: “I vigorously scribble it off with a “NO” or “NA” and always have something else in the works.”
• Kady Eshleman: “I print out the rejections and push them through the nail (on my wall). It’s oddly satisfying, keeps the rejection in sight, and keeps me motivated.”

The Shrewd Recouper:

• Audrey Perrott: “I set a timer on my phone and allow myself to mope. As I got more in the groove, I needed less and less time.”
• Anne Sawan: “I swear and go for a run, swear, pour myself a drink, and swear some more…in the morning I sit down at my computer and try again.”
• Lucky Williams: “At a Highlights workshop, author Eileen Spinelli gave us each a rubber ball to remind us to bounce back and submit again. Also helps to throw it against the wall with a few choice words!”

Happy or sad, these kidlit writers are determined mountain climbers willing to rise, fall and rise again.

How am I dealing with rejection now?

I’m not on the mountaintop yet, but I’m happy to report that roadkill bunny is a thing of the past. Getting published elsewhere helps, as does giving myself a pep talk. 

Oh, and poking fun keeps me going. Here’s a little tweet I flew on Twitter:

I’m getting much better at dealing with rejection…
I no longer lie flat in oncoming traffic.

Submitting isn’t for sissies, and rejection is never easy. But these road-tested tips might help you cope better and keep you climbing up!

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Feel free to share your own tips in the comment section below.  

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*Feature image: pxfuel